Dry Docked and Grounded
by Suicidal Songstress
Summary: Takes place between ME2 and ME3. Non-Canon but wouldn't affect ME3 too much if at all. Shepard has been tense and angry since surrendering to the Alliance, especially when she can see the Alliance doing nothing about the Reapers, instead being judged and insulted by other marines. But Anderson, forever watching out for her, decides she needs a little company. RxR
1. Krios

As she walked into the mess hall, she immediately picked up the many looks thrown her way. Her enhanced hearing thanks to Cerberus. Her red eyes looked at each and every one of the people that watched her.

Since surrendering herself and the Normandy to Alliance command two months ago, her natural ice blue eyes has gotten darker, turning red slowly, as she grew angrier. No one was doing anything about the Reapers! Going about their business as if everything was fine. Not only that, other Alliance personnel treated her like...like Kaidan had.

She grabbed her tray of food and sat down at an empty table that was dubbed hers. She sat there a moment and allowed herself time to reflect. If only she had her crew with her...

Feeling her eyes starting to water, she thought about how she had fucked the Illusive Man over. She smirked as she thought about him giving her a crew, trusting his people; Miranda, Jacob, Kelly and the rest of the crew, even EDI.

In the end, she had turned them against him, unintentionally, but no less satisfying.

She looked back up at the many accusing eyes and sighed.

_'They didn't even let me keep Space Lieutenant Buzz Light-Hamster.'_

The biggest crime of all.

Suddenly, someone sat before her. She didn't need to look at him to know it was James. He was technically her baby sitter.

"Hey, Commander."

"You're not supposed to call me that, James."

"Not hungry?" He asked, seeing that she had yet to touch her food.

Instead of answering, she picked at it, mind elsewhere.

"Mm. This is good," James spoke, biting into his sandwich.

_Traitor._

_Murderer._

_Lunatic._

_Inhuman._

_Monster._

_Group of freaks._

Her hands clenched around her eating utensils as their words hissed in her ear. She lost it when she heard Cerberus Lapdog.

Slamming her knife and fork down, she shot to her feet and with a Throw, slammed the woman across the room into the wall beside her. Many jumped up and or pointed their guns at her.

"You all think I'm a traitor? A murderer? A _bloody Cerberus lapdog!?_" She snapped.

"Shepard, calm down," James spoke as he tried to slowly move towards her.

Her eyes flashed bright red in her anger.

"You think I wanted to work for them?" She hissed. "I did what I had to do to protect the Galaxy. None of you saw what happened to those human colonies when they were taken! None of you could even begin to understand the shit I've been through in the past year to make sure you could all sit there and judge me. If it weren't for me and my _group of freaks_, you'd all be fuel for the human Reaper."

"Aevah Shepard, stand down."

Shepard turned to see Anderson and Kaidan had entered the room.

_'Heh. Trust the only time Kaidan comes to see me is because I'm causing trouble.'_

The blue corona that had caused her body to flare up slowly faded as she moved towards them since they stood by the door.

"This is all fucking bullshit," she hissed to Anderson.

She looked back at all the people in the hall.

"You know what? I wish I hadn't stopped the Collectors since none of you seem grateful for the risks me and my friends took to save your worthless lives. Maybe then, you'd finally see the Reapers as the threat they truly are."

When Kaidan went to put a securing hand on her arm, a Shockwave sent him flying away from her.

"Touch me, Alenko, and you'll lose that hand."

She shot one last hurt look towards Anderson and stormed out.

* * *

"Are you seriously considering this?" Kaidan asked Anderson who stood before their two guests. "After what she did in the mess a couple of days ago?"

"She's only like that because she feels cornered, like she's in hostile territory. I know Shepard, and this will help her cool down."

"I know Shepard too, and that's not her."

"With all due respect, Major Alenko, I've know Shepard a lot longer then you and I know in my gut that she is Shepard."

Kaidan grit his teeth before letting out a sigh.

"Yes, sir."

"You can meet with her, but in the mess hall where many eyes will be on you, as well as weapon sights."

"Thank you, Coucillor Anderson."

"Once your visit is over, I'll have to return to the Citadel. They want updates on Shepard."

* * *

Shepard sat at her table again, head on the table this time.

"Why the hell am I back here again, James?" She groaned into the table. "I told you I wanted my meals brought to me so I wouldn't have to see these ignorant fools again.

"I was asked to bring you here."

"But why? I don't-"

"Siha."

Shepard stopped mid-sentence as the word reached her ears, even though she almost missed it over the chatter in the hall. She couldn't mistake that croaky voice anywhere. She raised her head with wide eyes that had gone dark with specks of blue. Her eyes landed on Thane and Kolyat by the entrance door with Anderson and Kaidan behind them.

"Thane!"

Jumping from her seat, she ran for the drell and caught him -by surprise- in a hug.

"Siha, I did not expect you to be so welcoming," Thane spoke, small smile on his lips.

"God, you have no idea," she murmured.

When she pulled back, the four males by the door noted that her eyes had brightened to sky blue, practically glowing.

She looked to the drell beside him with a warm smile.

"Kolyat, what a surprise! Here, let's go back to my table so we can sit and chat all we like."

She led them back to her table where James had mysteriously disappeared and sat with them.

"How are you, Shepard? They have been treating you well?" Thane asked.

She shrugged. "Sure. I mean, they haven't hurt me, only grounded me while I wait to be trialed. Can't stand the whispers and rumours though. I got in trouble for turning agressive towards fellow alliance marines in here the other day."

Thane frowned but she quickly changed the subject. "But enough about me. What about you two? Thane, should you even be up and about so much? What have you been doing lately?"

Thane chuckled as he watched Shepard sprout question after question. Clearly, she hadn't talked to many. She was so eager to know what was going on outside the Alliance base.

"I'm fine, Shepard. It is slightly harder to breathe and I can't move like I used to without becoming out of breath, but I am moving nonetheless."

"What about you, Kolyat? How are you?"

"I've been well, Commander Shepard. Since you stopped my assassination attempt, I have been doing some study and trying to get my life back in order. While my father and I haven't fully made up, we're working on it."

"That's great news, Kolyat. I'm so happy for you. If you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask."

"Thank you, Commander. I appreciate it."

"Please, just Shepard is fine. Technically, I'm not a Commander anymore."

"You'll always be the Commander of the Normandy, Siha," Thane spoke. "Though you have no ship to command, the Normandy can only have one true Commander that knows how to command her and her crew."

She almost cried. "Thanks, Thane. It's been a while since I've heard anything relatively encouraging. Have you had any contact with the others?"

"Not much. Garrus is still on Palaven, trying to convince the Turian Hierarchy to prepare for the Reapers. Tali is still within the Fleet, trying to convince them not to go to war with the Geth. Her time with Legion has given her a different point of view to look at."

Shepard smiled affectionately. Her two dextro aliens who were family to her, even though everyone knew Garrus was her best friend. Tali was like her sister, they confided in each other everything. Even Tali's developing crush for the scarred turian and slight jealousy at Dr. Michel's obvious fondness towards Vakarian.

Shepard laughed softly to herself as she remembered how bright Tali's eyes seemed to glow when teased about her crush in private.

"I heard a rumour that Jack was approached by Alliance brass," Thane continued when Shepard seemed to focus back in on him.

Shepard instantly frowned. "What, why? Is she okay? What did they do? The didn't hurt her? She didn't kill them?"

Thane chuckled as he shook his head. "I don't know what happened, only that they met with her. As far as I can tell, no one has died yet."

She let out a relieved sigh.

"What about Miranda and Jacob? They got away from the Illusive Man, yes?"

Thane nodded. "Miranda disappeared off the grid, hiding since the Illusive Man was what stood between her and her father and Jacob left as well."

"Legion?"

"Disappeared back to the Perseus Veil."

"Hopefully he and Tali can keep the peace between the geth and quarians."

"We can only hope."

"Mordin?"

"Went back to STG."

"Samara?"

"Asari space."

"And Grunt went back to Clan Urdnot on Tuchanka?"

"Yes."

Shepard stared at him curiously. "I'm a little curious about how you know all this."

Thane just smiled at her.

"Secret sources? Old accomplices? Owed favours? Hmm?" She teased.

"They told me."

Kolyat couldn't help but chuckle at the blank look that came over Shepard's face before she blushed and face palmed herself. Thane didn't hide the fact that he was laughing before he started coughing. His coughing turned to hacking which turned to gasping for breath.

Shepard immediately jumped out of her seat and by his side, raising his arms and bending them so his hands were pinned behind his head to allow more oxygen into his lungs. She held them in place with one hand while the other reached around and gently but firmly cupped is throat while her hand came alive with biotics, pulsing and vibrating, urging his windpipe to relax and open.

Kolyat could only watch in shock, frozen in fear, worry and awe.

Seeing Thane slowly deteriorating caused her heart to lurch and her throat t constrict. He had been many things to her while aboard the Normandy SR-2. A friend. A mentor. An Advisor. An anchor. An escape.

He taught her patience where she had none. Understanding where she was stubborn. Stealth and grace to balance her brunt attacks and heavy feet. He gave her balance. He and Garrus were her top two people to take on missions back then.

"I'm fine now, Siha."

Having gotten lost in her thoughts, she looked down to see the understanding in Thane's eyes as he looked up at her. She released his hands and neck and sat back in her seat before taking one of his hands again, holding between her two hands. She looked into his eyes as her own darkened to a deep blue.

"Thane...I don't...It's hard seeing you like this," she murmured as she felt her eyes burning, wanting to tear up.

"Do not grieve for me, Siha," he replied, placing his other hand to cup hers. "You gave me a chance to atone for my mistakes, and you gave me back my son. I have lived a full life and have almost no regrets. When my time comes, I will go with pride."

A tear slid down Shepard's cheek.

"But I...you have taught me so much and I don't want to say goodbye. I wish you had more time. I wish you could live longer to spend more time with Kolyat."

Thane gently brushed the tears away, but they kept falling.

"I understand how hard this must be for you," Thane murmured. "Death by disease is harder to deal with then death in battle."

"Thane-"

"You have seen loved ones die before in the heat of battle and only after the adrenaline has spent do you realise they are gone and there's nothing to do but accept it."

"But with you, I can't do anything," Shepard whispered.

Thane ndoded. "With me, you can't fight my disease. You can't force it to leave me. You have to watch me as I am attacked by the symptoms. You feel-"

"-hopeless," Kolyat and Shepard finished, nodding.

"The universe will be a darker place without you, Thane," Shepard spoke, voice shaking."

* * *

"What do you think they're talking about?" Kaidan asked as they watched Shepard talking excitedly at her table. "Do you think they were more then friends?"

"No need to be jealous, Major," Anderson spoke, eyes trained on the drell.

At that moment is when they saw the drell begin to violently cough. They noticed the hall's chatter drop in sound as people watched Shepard jump to help him.

It was still almost silent when she sat back down and held his hand.

"They could have been lovers," Anderson told Kaidan who looked to him in surprise. "They have a bond that's closer then friends, yet not quite lovers. My guess is that they were attracted to one another, yet neither wanted to take that final step."

"Why not?" Kaidan asked, despite himself.

"Probably because he is dying."

"That wouldn't stop Shep-"

"Of course not. But they both love other people."

"Oh."

"You can see how deeply this is hurting her, seeing her friend dying slowly."

Kaidan's eyes instantly spotted the tears falling from Shepard's eyes, even as the drell wiped them away.

"Many people naturally click with Shepard. She has a way of turning heads and changing hearts. I'd even wager Aria T'Loak, the ruler of Omega would have a change of heart if she were to ever spend time alone with Shepard. But few people ever make it into her heart. Joker, Karin, Tali, Garrus, Ashley, Wrex, you and I all have a place in her heart. Clearly, Thane does too and I'd bet that those that followed her through the Omega Relay also have a spot in her heart."

"But they were Cerberus."

"You are a fool if you still hold that against her, Alenko. If you actually read the report, only the crew was Cerberus. The allies she made weren't. Hell, one of them one was an experiment of Cerberus's so you can bet your ass there was no love there."

"But-"

"You are going to need to decide whether you trust Shepard or not. She won't wait for you for long. The more you doubt her, the more she'll push you away. Should something happen and she gets the Normandy back, she would hesitate to let you back on deck. If you look at everyone else, if she said jump, they would jump, no questions asked. If you don't jump, you're wasting her time. That's just how she is. And she has never been wrong."

"I can't just forgive her."

"Maybe you should talk to Liara T'Soni about what happened and ask yourself what exactly she needs to be forgiven for."

* * *

As the sun set, the three at the table stood as Anderson approached, Kaidan choosing to remain a respectful distance by the door.

"I guess this is it," Shepard murmured.

"Remember, Siha. Do not grieve for me. I am happy and you should be too."

She embraced Thane tightly.

"Oh, Thane. I just...oh, Thane."

She couldn't find the words but that was okay. He knew. He always knew. She hugged Kolyat, urging him to be strong and then they were gone.

She sat there a moment, lost in her thoughts again as the world continued around her.

A broken laugh softly left her throat as a couple tears fell.

_'Maybe, in another life, another time...we could have been together.''_

Thane looked up at the sunset as he and Kolyat reached outside. His eyes raised upwards, towards the starry heaven they traversed.

"Kaidan Alenko."

He had been standing there a while before Thane bothered to acknowledge him. Stepping out from behind the door, Kaidan faced the drell's back, who didn't bother to face him, even as Kolyat did.

"If you hurt her, I will kill you."

Thane turned to look at him from over his shoulder.

"Not even Arashu could save you if you do."

* * *

**Just a little something that had been floating in my head. I realise her eyes don't actually change so quickly but I wanted something to tell others how she was feeling or what she was thinking. Thought it would be cool xD**

**I know Thane offers to protect Kaidan in ME3 but this is before Kaidan is injured and requires protection. As far as Thane knows, Kaidan had emotionally hurt Shepard before he became part of the team and that he was still someone special to her. Makes sense that he'd want to protect her from someone who had broken her heart before, especially if she's still in love with him.**

**So I don't feel like Thane was OOC too much.**

**Also, I did say it was non-cannon so it may have little to none affect on the ME3 play out.**

**Might make a little more sense since Kaidan knows how much Thane cares about Shepard -romantic or otherwise- that'd he'd offer to protect him for Shepard's sake.**

**No flames please . I'm allergic to fire!**


	2. Doubts

**Now remember, this is just something small that won't have much affect on ME3.**

**Just a little something to fill in blanks.**

* * *

Kaidan stood by the comm system at his parents place in Vancouver, his omni-tool displaying Liara's contact info that was known throughout Illium and beyond thanks to her job as an information broker.

Anderson's words rested heavily on his mind, playing them over and over.

_"Maybe you should talk to Liara T'Soni about what happened and ask yourself what it is exactly she needs to be forgiven for."_

Bending over the comm, resting all his weight on his arms, he dipped his head, conflicted.

"Goddamn it, she was dead," he hissed to himself.

Before he could chicken out, he quickly synced up to the comm system, and called. It rang only twice before a holographic image of Liara appeared.

_"Kaidan, what a surprise,"_ Liara spoke, smiling in greeting.

Kaidan let out a breath. So far so good.

"Hey, Liara. How have you been?"

_"I have been well,"_ she answered. _"But I get the feeling you didn't call me to ask how I've been doing."_

"Ah, well...yeah..."

_"You want to know about Shepard, don't you?"_ It was more of a statement than a question.

"I have mixed emotions about her being back. Is it really her?"

_"Kaidan, I understand your concern and I suppose if I didn't know what I do know, I'd have my doubts too."_

Liara looked down at her omni-tool as she fiddled a bit. He could hear a soft ringing coming from her end.

_"I can only tell you what I know but there are others with more insight than even myself."_

Kaidan crossed his arms as he kept his wary eyes on her.

"And who would they be?"

Beside her, two more holographic images came up.

_"Keelah, you are all idiots!"_ Tali snapped, looking at something beside her. _"Leave me. Now."_

_"Dad, no, it's fine. The task force is doing everything I ask without much complaint, even if they don't believe the Reapers are coming,"_ Garrus was wandering around a bit, talking into the mic built into his visor tech. _"Yeah. Hey, listen. I've got to go. I'll send you an update later. Yeah, you too."_

Liara smiled at Kaidan as the two dextro aliens gave them their full attention.

_"The two people who were with her the entire journey,"_ Liara spoke, finally answering his question.

_"I am so glad you called, Liara. I welcome the friendly faces,"_ Tali spoke, voice heavy with annoyance.

_"The Admirals giving you hell, Tali?"_ Garrus asked.

Tali looked over to him._ "Do they do anything else?" _She sighed.

_"T'Soni,"_ Garrus greeted.

_"Garrus,"_ Liara smiled pleasantly.

_"Kaidan,"_ Tali acknowledged.

Garrus frowned at him but said nothing.

_"You wish to know about Shepard?"_ Tali asked.

_"What? You mean, you're actually willing to listen to what we have to say now?"_ Garrus quipped, words dripping with sarcasm.

"You can't blame me for having my doubts, Garrus."

_"No, but I can blame you for outright calling Shepard and I traitors."_

"I didn't say that-"

_"But you implied it,"_ he snapped back flatly.

"What was I supposed to think, Garrus? You, Shepard and that other woman show up and tell me Cerberus didn't do it because you're _with_ them."

_"Spirits, you are blind!"_ Garrus growled to himself. _"All you could think about was Cerberus, Kaidan. When Shepard tried to tell you she wasn't with them, only using them, you wouldn't listen!"_

_"Let me start from the beginning,"_ Liara cut in, putting a stop to the argument. _"It was my fault that Cerberus had Shepard in the first place."_

_"What?"_ The other three spoke, shocked.

_"After the Normandy crash landed on Alchera, I went looking for answers. A contact of mine told me they had information. The Shadow Broker had her body and he was going to give it to the Collectors. Feron and I managed to get her body back and I gave it to Miranda. We had met before and she told me she planned to bring Shepard back, just as she was."_

"You...gave Cerberus her body?" Kaidan asked slowly.

_"Yes. I...I couldn't let her go. I was selfish, I know. And I won't lie to you all and say I did it so she could fight the Reapers because at that time, I didn't care about the Reapers. All I wanted, was my friend back."_

"Does Shepard know?" Kaidan asked, jaw tense.

Liara nodded. _"When she came to me on Illium, I told her. I told her it was my fault she was with Shepard but she..."_

She made an action to wipe her cheek. She was crying.

_"She thanked me instead,"_ she murmured, a watery smile on her lips. _"She said she lost two years of her life but that I...but that I gave her back the rest."_

_"And we thank you too, Liara,"_ Tali spoke. _"We all felt the pain and emptiness that came with her death. Without her, we'd all be in very different places. I would have been exiled from the Migrant Fleet or dead when I tried to take back the Alarei alone."_

_"I would have been killed by Nyxeris who was a double agent and I wouldn't have been able to save Feron."_

_"I would have died in my showdown with the three gangs on Omega, still hell bent on revenge."_

_"Kaidan, you never saw how Shepard struggled,"_ Tali spoke. _"It is true, we were working with Cerberus and trust me, I hated it. They attacked the fleet some time back but I always knew Shepard wasn't working for them. I trusted her. You should have too. Any Intel she gained on Cerberus, she sent to the Alliance."_

_"You should have seen the people she recruited though,"_ Garrus chuckled. _"Sure, the Illusive Man gave her their dossiers, but she went out of her way to help them all; Miranda, Jacob, Mordin, Samara, Thane, Grunt, Jack, Legion, Kasumi, Zaeed...she brought them peace one way or another. Only our Shepard would do that."_

"I met Thane," Kaidan confirmed.

Garrus chuckled. _"How did that go?"_

"He threatened me."

_"I'd take his threat seriously then, Kaidan,"_ Tali warned. _"Thane is a master assassin. Beat Garrus many times in their one-on-one sparring matches."_

_"Hand to hand combat isn't my forte, Tali."_

_"Oh? That's not what you told Shepard. What was it, again...oh, 'I had reach, but she had flexibility'?"_

Garrus's head snapped over to Tali. _"You were _spying _on me?"_

_"I was keeping an eye on everyone. I listen in on everyone's conversation. I'm pretty sure Thane was in the shadows nearby and I think Kasumi was standing behind you, cloaked."_

Garrus almost shivered. _"That's a little unnerving that they were watching."_

_"They had a habit of following Shepard. Thane, because he loved her and Kasumi, because she was curious about what Shepard did in her down time."_

_"Try to...keep that information to yourself, okay, Tali?"_

Tali giggled as Garrus scratched the back of his head, sheepish.

_"I just don't understand, Kaidan. You were the only one that shoved her away. Wrex welcomed her the moment he saw her."_

_"The point is, Kaidan,"_ Liara started, drawing their attention back to the point of the conversation. _"That she did the best she could with what she had. No Alliance. No Council. Only Cerberus and missing colonies by the thousands. If you were in her position, what would you have done?"_

_"In the end, she gave herself in to the Alliance and stole the Illusive Man's team he trusted. Miranda, the woman who was Cerberus through and through even left, having been changed by Shepard."_

_"I need to go, I have things I need to do,"_ Liara spoke. _"My information network is uncovering clues on how to stop the Reapers."_

_"My dad convinced the Primarch to give me a Task Force with the sole purpose of upgrading our defenses to give us more of a warning when they arrive."_

_"Lucky,"_ Tali sighed. _"I'm trying to stop my people from attacking the geth on our home planet. Now is not the time to go to war with the geth, not with the Reapers moving."_

_"It seems like you just need to really think about why you haven't forgiven Shepard, Kaidan,"_ Garrus spoke gruffly. _"She saved the galaxy again, yet no one is thanking her because she was with Cerberus at the time. If you keep holding it against her, she will shut you out indefinitely. She doesn't need your bullshit. Vakarian out."_

As his hologram cut out, Tali sighed. _"He will hold this against you for some time, Kaidan. I hope to see you two later. Be careful and don't die."_

The quarian holo flickered out of existence before Liara nodded to Kaidan and disappeared as well. Heading to the kitchen, he pulled out a six pack of beer and took a seat on one of the kitchen stools.

It looked like he had much to think about.

And plenty of beer to help him.


End file.
